Friday, August 25, 2006

domain knowledge needed in business processes

They have arrived. All my efforts to prove sixth sense and the power of will have failed. The summers have arrived. So there I was on a lazy Tuesday when as usual I had finished my daily dose of worrying and cribbing about acads, summers, PPOs , specialization and world peace and had immobilized myself into inaction I was told one of the companies I had applied was visiting the campus the very next day. So there I was cut off from the world, business or otherwise, unsure of what I wanted to do stuck with the prospect of competing with 100 odd the next day with no fore warning. That I didn’t have a mini breakdown then and there is one of the mysteries I’ll never unravel but I did run around and harass enough of my seniors.

The shortlist arrived and there it was ‘dicya kamat’ a cryptic reference to yours truly. So I took out my suit, shirt and a pair of shoes which I swear are 3 sizes smaller than my size. (gyaan: impossible to find size 6 shoes for females in Mumbai, and the size 5 are what I think equivalent to size 3). So I waited for my GD sweating at the possibility of being slapped with a WTO-SEZ type topic. Thankfully the HR read out “5 ways to curb terrorism”. I exhaled and started scribbling on my pad. But my joy lasted for exactly a minute. The moment the GD started it was a vegetable/fish/any other commodity market. All I could do was to watch my points being shouted out by other individuals and getting drowned by others in the panel. Finally I managed to shout down a couple of people and get in a word. The GD ended abruptly and I came out rather shaken.

In another mystery I was shortlisted and there I sat in front of the panel. It was a group interview and I was paired with an industrial engineering guy. The interviewees before me assured me it was a cakewalk and that the 3 words I need to use were ‘domain knowledge’ ‘growing pharma sector’ and ‘business process’. So I made a sentence using these three catch words and fired off. The HR nodded and said if I planned to learn all this in 8 weeks. On my nodding he informed me what I would probably learn in that time would be the location of the jugular vein of a rat. By this time I was turning an unhealthy shade of crimson. He proceeded to ask some academic questions on of all subjects, statistics!! By this time I was deep beetroot and wanted desperately to be outside the door. The final nail in coffin when the IE guy drew a graph to explain the confidence interval while I had beaten around the bush with test of hypothesis. So you would be opening your books the day before exams I guess, the HR smiled. My facial muscles had by then paralyzed into an oh-am-I-dumb-or-what expression. We were thanked (for the entertainment I guess) and left.

The final list was out today. No, there were no more miracles. And yes substantial increase in domain knowledge requires ASAP.

7 Comments:

Blogger Rohit said...

Man what is this !! 4 months since you left college and you are back attending interviews.
My keen eye has noticed that your fellow ant-colony members schemed against you, by suggesting catch phrases which landed you neck deep in quick sand.
I, on the contrary, have always advised you against them :) and will reiterate it again .. Bah

6:25 PM  
Blogger Batty said...

Its good that you didnt take my name. Looks like you are out to bash me for telling you those phrases. But believe me it sold elsewhere so tried it again here. Next time I'll coin something sellable...:))

10:17 PM  
Blogger Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

Ha ha.Hilarious post.

7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ah, so you're now learning some real lessons. Now you know how ridiculous these GDs can be. In UK they call it Group Dumpster diving!

5:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In future ensure that .. at least you understand the concept fo the words that you are going to blabber out..... any way it was a good entertainment.

7:27 AM  
Blogger d_grail said...

@ rohit
socha tha b-school aa ke aish karungi..al d aish i see is the one in newspaper dating small B

@batty
grrrrrrrrr.......

@pythoroshan
sob!

@neokluber
dnt evn make it in d dumpster!

@anonymous
the moral of the story is...

2:58 PM  
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