its silent"H"

What's in a name, the Bard said some centuries ago. Ask Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam or Vangipurappu Venkata Sai Laxman. And tHen tHere are otHers like DHivya Kumar. My parents couldn’t Have come up witH a more generic name witH cHameleon like properties. It’s a name tHat gives little away. THe sex of tHe person, wHere He comes from, notHing. You can venture guesses yes.

Kumar DHivya Mr….I was staring at tHe e-ticket wHile furiously dialing Jet Airways number.
WHen DJ told me about tHe mistake I tHink He expected me to sHriek curse n generally beHave in my normal Hysterical manner but I just nodded and sat down. I didn’t tell Him about tHe letter in my drawer

Dear Mr Kumar
Congratulations! You Have been selected for tHe PGDIM course in NITIE….

HumpH!
WHen my parents named me, tHey tHougHt Divya was an uncommon name. In Nursery I Had 4 otHer Divyas in my class. THat combined witH tHe soutH Indian H factor resulted into it morpHing into DHivya. ScHool was easy. I was called Kumar, everyone including my best friends tHougHt I came from
a)Rai Barreily, UP or
b) BettiaH, BiHar.
Till my mom walked into class, wHite flowers and sandalwood bindi intact. Perceptions cHanged overnigHt. Suddenly everyone realised I did pronounce bHaiyya as baiyya. THis was before ArundHati Roy made mallus exotic and JoHn AbraHam proved not all of tHem are dark, pot bellied and mustacHed. So tHere I was quickly relegated as a Madrasi and all madrasis were from surprise….madras of course.
ScHool life passed juggling between identities of
DHivya Kumar
Divya Kumar
Divya Kumari

College meant returning to my roots. I tHougHt Here in tHe land of anitHas, sunitHas and deeptHis I ll be safe. But Here tHe Kumar meant tHat I came from
a)Rai Barreily, UP or
b) BettiaH, BiHar
till I would open my moutH and string a broken sentence in Malayalam.
“OH wHen did you learn Malayalam? Its so difficult for nortH Indians.” SHopkeeper cHetta will venture patronizingly.
“CHerepattille”(in my cHildHood) I would reply.
So tHere my name would be in between Devender Kumar and Deepak Kumar. Attendance time meant tHe teacHer furiously scanning tHe boys’ row wHile I waved myself silly from tHe corner I usually sat in.

So How did a Malayalee end up witH sucH a name instead of sometHing like S. Parukutty or S.Babymol?
Long long ago my Dad went to fill a form at St.THomas’ Girls ScHool, New DelHi. Dutifully He entered my name as DHivya SuresH Kumar. THe receptionist or wHoever decided tHe SuresH wasn’t really tHat important and dropped it. My dad didn’t cHeck it till mucH later. And Dad being Dad didn’t feel a girl sHould mind sucH a name.

And tHe H? well its tHere to align all tHe planets in my favor and give me super duper success in life. A week ago I sat in an auto witH 2 classmates clutcHing a printout of tHe e-ticket bearing Kumar DHivya MR.
THe fligHt was at 0540 Hrs
0430 auto leaves NITIE campus
0445 tHe left tyre Has a puncture
0500 reacH CHatrapati sHivaji airport, realize fligHt leaves from domestic airport
0505 auto atopped by policeman
0510 autowallaH still negotiating for Hafta
0515 auto rolls into petrol pump
0525 airport
0535 lady at counter looks for Mr DHivya Kumar.

So mucH for planets aligning tHemselves!

All H’s are in caps to make this a record breaking post!