tagged...
I have been tagged by my prospective senior, Ujwal Kr Vellore to write about what am planning to do before I start dancing on the nerves of people at NITIE. We shall proceed to deal with this in a systematic manner.
1. My immediate concern is to increase my wakeful hours.
2. Depending on the success of point 1 I will proceed to utilize at least half of that time in preparation of my forthcoming exams.
Together this strategy will prevent death due to heart failure on seeing the Security in computing paper on the first day of exams.
I also need to xerox the entire Distributed computing text edition 2, after I had patted my back for my ingenuity and smartness on procuring edition 3 from the library after trampling over two fellow classmates and elbowing two others when one of them noticed a solitary copy left on the library shelf and was stupid enough to whoop in joy. And then I need to study that xerox.
I also need to find material on the net for the marketing module of IOM but am too busy googling for exclusive Brangelina snaps in Namibia right now.
Somehow I know everything will fall into place and I shall again display my talent for creative writing in the exams. I will still manage to fit my entire paper in the main answering sheet itself while people around will go into double digits of extra sheets.
After that I will have my course viva for which I don’t know what exactly the procedure is. I mean I know there would be an external invigilator and couple of internal ones but I don’t know how to go about preparing for it, considering I can’t even recall the subjects’ nah subject names I studied last semester. After that agony ends I will pack my bags and will be ready to go.
I will reach home laden with dozen dust covered bags full of smelly clothes. My mother would kiss me to death with happiness on seeing me. It would vanish when she sees the piles of clothes that need washing. My neighborhood aunty will pop in and remark how Gudiya has become darker, thinner and balder than her last visit. She would advise me to put aloe Vera, egg white, honey, lime, fertilizer on my head and body warna dekho skin kitna kharab ho gaya hai aur baal kitna patla ho gaya hai. My mother would only hear the thinner part and start putting desi ghee in everything I consume. Cant blame her she grew up watching mallu movies having thunder thighed heroines and our concept of beauty differs quite a bit on the ideal weight part.
At home I will prop up my pillows, take the remote in my hand and go into a trance. Within a couple of days I would know that Ekta Kapoor’s protagonists have married again, friends season 8 is being telecast for the 198453th time, instead of desi Rakhi Sawant we now have dyed Czech models gyrating around 45 degrees Himmesh Reshammya. When am hungry I can sit in the same position and yell veshkunu on top of my lungs. It will generate immediate response the first couple of days but as days will wear on it too will get ignored. I will pout and ask dad to buy me tons of lays and ice cream and he will without fail bring in the Lays Spanish tango and Strawberry flavor brick after which I would never request him again. I will again make empty promises to meet all my friends and think up excuses not to go out in the hot sun.
By this time it would be time to pack my bags again and head to a different place. I have heard rumors that we have single occupancy rooms with attached baths there. I am used to sharing my room with 2 other human beings and 30 different species from the kingdom insectia and my bathroom with 13 other human beings and showers under the watchful eyes of couple of lizards. It would be difficult to live alone.
1. My immediate concern is to increase my wakeful hours.
2. Depending on the success of point 1 I will proceed to utilize at least half of that time in preparation of my forthcoming exams.
Together this strategy will prevent death due to heart failure on seeing the Security in computing paper on the first day of exams.
I also need to xerox the entire Distributed computing text edition 2, after I had patted my back for my ingenuity and smartness on procuring edition 3 from the library after trampling over two fellow classmates and elbowing two others when one of them noticed a solitary copy left on the library shelf and was stupid enough to whoop in joy. And then I need to study that xerox.
I also need to find material on the net for the marketing module of IOM but am too busy googling for exclusive Brangelina snaps in Namibia right now.
Somehow I know everything will fall into place and I shall again display my talent for creative writing in the exams. I will still manage to fit my entire paper in the main answering sheet itself while people around will go into double digits of extra sheets.
After that I will have my course viva for which I don’t know what exactly the procedure is. I mean I know there would be an external invigilator and couple of internal ones but I don’t know how to go about preparing for it, considering I can’t even recall the subjects’ nah subject names I studied last semester. After that agony ends I will pack my bags and will be ready to go.
I will reach home laden with dozen dust covered bags full of smelly clothes. My mother would kiss me to death with happiness on seeing me. It would vanish when she sees the piles of clothes that need washing. My neighborhood aunty will pop in and remark how Gudiya has become darker, thinner and balder than her last visit. She would advise me to put aloe Vera, egg white, honey, lime, fertilizer on my head and body warna dekho skin kitna kharab ho gaya hai aur baal kitna patla ho gaya hai. My mother would only hear the thinner part and start putting desi ghee in everything I consume. Cant blame her she grew up watching mallu movies having thunder thighed heroines and our concept of beauty differs quite a bit on the ideal weight part.
At home I will prop up my pillows, take the remote in my hand and go into a trance. Within a couple of days I would know that Ekta Kapoor’s protagonists have married again, friends season 8 is being telecast for the 198453th time, instead of desi Rakhi Sawant we now have dyed Czech models gyrating around 45 degrees Himmesh Reshammya. When am hungry I can sit in the same position and yell veshkunu on top of my lungs. It will generate immediate response the first couple of days but as days will wear on it too will get ignored. I will pout and ask dad to buy me tons of lays and ice cream and he will without fail bring in the Lays Spanish tango and Strawberry flavor brick after which I would never request him again. I will again make empty promises to meet all my friends and think up excuses not to go out in the hot sun.
By this time it would be time to pack my bags again and head to a different place. I have heard rumors that we have single occupancy rooms with attached baths there. I am used to sharing my room with 2 other human beings and 30 different species from the kingdom insectia and my bathroom with 13 other human beings and showers under the watchful eyes of couple of lizards. It would be difficult to live alone.
posted by d_grail at 10:49 PM
5 Comments:
I've been laughing out of the box after reading your bit about thunder thighed heroines!
Hilarious post...good one...
This is hilarious...loved it!!
Sunita
@neokluber
@batty
@suni
:) thank u
Nice blog here...btw me too in Nighty no13..polka dotted!
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