Tuesday, May 23, 2006

all their bags are packed,they are ready to leave

to meet, to love and to depart
that's the story of the human heart

I wish i had another one of those look-I-pushed-the-eraser-up-my-nose type story but I don't have. One of my friends is leaving the day after and the other the day next.My parents have made sure am here to bid adieu to my entire batch by booking me really late tickets and i mean really late. in fact its so late that my PG owner asked if I intended to stay for another year before bursting into laughter at his own wit.
Right now my own wit has taken a beating,little whatever of which existed in the first place.On asking dad what he expected me to do all these days alone he asked me to pack,slowly.I think he meant one dress at a time.And I have like 5 sets of clothes only.So I was actually thankful we had a uniform all this while and you didn't need diffreent clothes everyday plus the added advantage of having a biological weapon ready and functional by day three.And I live with two girls who have a million dresses each and matching accessories..Yes I often feel like gareeb sudama...
Almost finished with State of fear by Michael Crichton. Am a big fan of his for long. State of fear also introdeuces a new and diffferent viewpoint.Something which we take for granted as wrong.Read if you can. Also reread The davinci code for nth time.Waiting for the movie now.Check out this piece below and convince me the person on Jesus' right is not a woman.



I don't believe in holy bloodline and all that but a woman could have been an important disciple right.
Anyways since I have nothing more to entertain you I shall bid adieu. Our attempts to fool the asianet guys have ended in disaster as a result we will be coughing up some serious money tomorrow.Yes the type that leaves holes in pockets and our net connection will also be gone.
So I may not write for sometime and I may be in Bharat ka sabse bada shehar the next time you catch me.So till then keep laughing at yourself...and life will give you more opportunities to do so.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

the time ticks way

Disclaimer: highly self indulgent and sentimental post follows. Read it if you have nothing else to do.

Today my course viva got over. My college and computer centre i-card was taken back and suddenly am no longer a student of this institute. It seems only yesterday that I walked into CS-A and sat with Nimmy and talked to Neha, Ela and Priti who sat before me. Wondered if Bipul shouldn’t have been spelled as Vipul. When Deepti and I walked to the bank together and missed our maths attendance.
I don’t know where the four years have disappeared. Throughout I maintained I couldn’t wait to get out of this claustrophobic narrow minded place. And yet today I feel my heart leaden. Today I remember and think of my first year. When I shifted to SM. Our midnight mad dancing and hopping on the floor. All the people who came and stayed with us for some time and left while the four of us remained put. The yellow curry and chappatis we put up with. The Punjabi and nepali ka khana about which we cribbed till the cows came home.
Uncle and aunty who were showered with pleasantest abuses when they handed us our rent and electricity bill.
My class whom I hated for the stories they made up about me. Now that I know that where am going is no better and that men will be boys always I don’t feel that bad. Maybe it was to prepare me for what would await me all my life.
I remember my first lunch with TKS and the knowledge that people don’t dance and sing in parks when they fall in love. Naahi raaton ki neend ya bhook pyaas udti hai. Appetite for food and sleep remain undiminished.
The exam prep leaves when Deepti and I would suddenly develop obsessive craziness for stupid computer games and then stand on our heads the day before the exam. Manu and her philosophy of life. Sunita’s tape recorder which served loyally till all of us got our PCs and her cassette collection which helped me realize Backstreet Boys weren’t the high point in English music.
Soon I wouldn’t get up to face an overflowing sink, wouldn’t need to abuse the ‘mota nepali’ because he dint give the breakfast, hide from Uncle because I hadn’t paid up the month’s electricity bill, wouldn’t have to get into my grey black uniform ever again and trudge to class and comment on boys who in turn would be commenting on us. Soon no more half biryanis from Nas hotel, no more ‘mere liye bhi lime bolna’.
Rheeja would stop walking into the room calling deef or divyu. The evening ka grand getting out for juice or samosa and budday cakes from Cocoa Tree is over.

Bina tere na ek pal ho
Na bin tere kabhi kal ho
Yeh dil ban jaye pather ka
Na isme koi hulchal ho

Ali khan is crooning into my ears. As the day I had waited for dawns closer I don’t want it to come. This time we would all go and not come back with our bags of mithai and ghar ka kahani.
Hated it while I stayed here and now hating that am leaving it. And yes the heart does exist in the chest cavity because that is where it’s hurting.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

am back but not quite..

Yes my exams are over and instead of dancing on the streets that am done with it all am actually feeling quite like a half eaten foolgobi dumped in the trash.had even written a soul searing, soul searching piece and then lacked the guts to put my feelings out for public consumption so decided to do another see-i-fell-on-my-head-haha type of post.
So the exams came and for the first time in the entire semester I felt the weight of the tomes we are supposed to be thorough with. It was difficut to keep my eyes open and more difficult to keep my brain open to reception to the intracacies of various types of concurrency control methods when all I wanted to do was to fling it all away and dream about John Abraham.
I didnt forego my afternoon naps though.On one occasion i was as usual lying sprawled all over my roomie's bed sleeping in my sweet dignified feminine position of wide gaping mouth,REM and drooling all over my pillow when this smell(for the lack of a better word) wafted through my flaring nostrils. Suddenly my nightmare of drowning in cow shit seemed all too real.Later was told my Pg owner is making a bio gas plant(!!)
So here I am,one of the 70000 engineers who pass out every year,one of the 40000 people who would have been on wipro pay roll to one of the 50000 who dream of owning a stretch limo by 25 by virtue of an mba.
Most people are baffled by my decision to drop MDI. we-are-a-friend-of-a-friend types say its an interesting decision,others just bombard smileys making wierd faces and close friends say it is another proof that i need urgent medical help.I try not to think about it.
My internet network is down again and we are implementing time division multiplexing here so I'll bid adieu with this nonsense.Will make a couple of posts before I leave Cochin..hopefully write something more personal about this home for 4 years...the city has taught me a lot.And then would be silent for some days before i get free net again.
Course viva on wednesday,seems certain guides can be sadistic enough to ask about engineering graphics(shudder)..i guess i ll have to leave another man wondering how i have passed all my semesters and generally about the indian educational system..