how d_grail became a specky,got lenses made and got a life-I

Initially when I started blogging I wanted to write..write for myself..without a care if anyone appreciates it or not...Now it seems I have in fact achieved my initial desire and am the only one reading what I write..Time for another class related post to push up the ratings is the need of the hour..and the hate mail can keep the adraline flowing too.

prologue
God took 6 days to create the world and took Sunday off..and somewhere in between all this he created a likeness of himself and gave him vision to appreciate the work that was done all around him.We of course have no proof for all this only circumstantial evidence.

Of course Adam being Adam needed someone to pick up after him and also for general ego boosting purposes and God did get tired of repeating of course i love you so he created Eve to do the job..This was long before the Devil came into picture.Now here is the really doubtful part in the entire story,the Devil got a woman to stand and listen to something that crawls and is slimy without going into a fit and then actually persuaded her to follow it and take its advice and eat something?Now am sure only the serpant could have come in the form of Brad Pitt to have achieved what he did..but we digress...

Of course once both of them had the forbidden fruit God used the intergalactic voice sytem to inform them that they are thrown out of the paradise and Adam my man from now on you need to sweat to eat and watch and appreciate Quentin Tarantino and Eve you will have to marry and stay with Adam and give up Ekta Kapoor 's serials to watch twenty two men chase and kick a ball.And I give you both myopia..

what 4000 can buy

After deciding to actually think and write my posts from now and not to let an insane keyboard burst test everyone's patience I wanted to refrain from posting till something worthwhile strikes my mind but I thought this TOI report worth a mention.I couldn't find a relevant link so am reproducing parts of the article.

Bride Bazaar
they do not want daughters but they do want wives.Its a supply crunch alright for males in haryana.Not far from the glitzy malls of gurgaon lie the thriving mandis of flesh trade-where the price of a 'bride' is often less than a cow.
861/1000 males:haryanas skewed sex ratio spawns a generation of bachelor boys.The bride price ranges from Rs4000 to Rs30000 determined by factors like age,virginity,skin colour and how many times she has changed hands.
the horror of it is the social sanction the custom is receiving now.For the woman who's been purchased by a man who is either too old,unemployed,disabled or unable to have a male heir,its a struggle to survive n the alien culture.The 'bride' also makes economic sense because she can be resold or shared with unmarried brothers after she's borne male heirs..

On the opposing page was a review of Kavya Vishwanathen's chick-lit book How Opal Mehta got kissed,got wild and got a life (penguin).Vishwanathan got a $500000 advance from little brown for a two book deal...

Vasudev Kutumbkam??

this too shall come to pass

Shawshank Redemption

I have never written about a movie before except in passing, although I do have a fascination for darker movies than the mushy/teen movie types. After seeing the title in lots of people's favorite I finally got around to watching it...Only problem was that the version I had was in .avi format and refused to play on Media player/Real/Winamp..Finally somehow got it running on vlc media player,but without any facility to fastforward or reverse..So while watching a scene intently the player would close up and start playing the movie from the beginning..as a result I have watched the first 30 minutes well...10 times..somehow with an uncharacteristic patience I reached till the end and now the movie can feature in my favorite list too..


fear can hold you prisoner,hope can set you free

Story of Andy Dufrense, who convicted wrongly of his wife and her lover's murder is sent to Shawshank Corrective facility to serve 2 life sentences,as told by fellow inmate and friend Ellis Boyd 'Red'. Based on a Stephen King novella Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption,the movie is today rated as one of the best of all time and has done all its business through word of the mouth publicity. nominated for 7 oscars including Best Picture it failed to win any because of competition in the form of movies like Forrest gump.

With almost lyrical quality the movie talks about hope and redemption brought to the inmates in the form of Dufrense. The life behind bars and the inability of one who has spent majority of his life there to be ever rehabilitated.As red says "These prison walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, gets so you depend on them. That's institutionalized. They send you here for life, that's exactly what they take. The part that counts, anyways."

Directed by Frank Darabont and starring Tim Robbins,Morgan Freeman and Gil Bellows(Ally McBeal) don't miss it if you can..

For more er..professional reviews here.

Murphy

From my latest addiction orkut a community for my beloved Murphy.
For the uninfomed Murphy put into words what all of us have felt at certain points in our lives reproduced below.

Murphy's Original Law
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.

Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong -- it will.

Murphy's First Corollary
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Second Corollary
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

The Murphy Philosophy
Smile... tomorrow will be worse.

You can find more about Captain Edward A Murphy after whom the law is named and other trivia here .
You can also find him all around you, especially when you are wishing for some luck. If you haven't seen him yet nature will conspire and you will soon have your relevation soon. May the Murph..force be with you.

googlism

Inspired by Megha's blog I did some googlism myself and had some hilarious results...although my numerologically altered name turned up a staid Google does not know you enough..the real spelling threw up some interesting views Google had on me...

By the way, Googlism was created as a fun tool to see what Google “thinks” of certain topics and people..so here goes..

divya is an attractive girl and has many admirers
(blush..fluttering of 2m long eyelashes)

divya is a psychopath and she killed radhika
(it was in self defence)

divya is also a board member of shakti
(also many other equally powerful boards)

divya is the murderer also forced to behave in a completely insensible manner
(as i was saying it was in self defence)

divya is healthy
(hey...)

divya is werkelijk onovertroffen wat de anamnese betreft
(yes am all that)

divya is still looking for a way to combine her interests in science
(very true...but with what?)

divya is the practise of solemnly swearing under oath
(my parents really weren't thinking when they named me)

divya is now reaching to global boundaries by exporting its product & software to overseas clients
(i am?)

divya is being touted as the star to watch for
(more batting of eyelashes)

divya is the best
(batting has created a the core of a cyclone)

divya is actually an adopted child
(nahiiiin........)

divya is doing her post
(yes she is)

divya is the youngest member of the thendral team
(pat pat...what's thendral..is it something in the kidney?)

divya is the main connection to the nucleus of the houston scene
(and many other)

divya is still waiting to connect with her family after six days
(22 years is more like it)

divya is mentally retarded
(shush...not so loud..)

divya is unable to take this
(yes, yes i shall stop right now)

says one character to another in crash you think you know who you are?you have no idea!

Can the new car change Mclaren's fortunes?

Will Kimi finally do a Mika?check out what Montoya and Raikkonnen have to say about the new car..
Also all the teams and their cars here ..Karthikeyen is a Williams test driver now..Team Jordan is now Midland..

ah well...its a cell...

On my Trip to Mumbai I was sitting alone in my coupe with a dutch couple on the side berth..After intently staring at my feet for a long time I finally made I eye-contact with the girl..She hopped on to my side clutching a book with bright blue Shiva on cover..our attempt at conversation did not last long as repeating yourself three times does put a hamper on the spontaneous talk..but she did find it unbelievable that anyone would actually sit in a train for 26 hours to go to mumbai.I decided to spare her the heart attck of the joys of travelling sleeper class to Delhi for 52 hours.The guy clutched his lonely planet and continued staring at his cell all through the journey..although even Reliance refused range at Divine Nagar..It was one of those fancy sliding models which when fully opened has all the facilities of a 5-star hotel but is so small that you could drop it in your ear while talking.

Coming to mobile phones my first set was the 3310..When I bought it,it was the latest of nokia's offerings,the wide screen and the friendly keypad..it was the high end...My joy on procuring the latest lasted exactly 24 hours when nokia rolled out its next model..

Still I maintain I took the 3310 around with some pride even if everyone from the autowallahs to half of my friend's circle possessed the same..But soon they moved onto glitzier,snazzier versions which had colour screens and cameras while I still lugged mine around..Soon it got relegated to a deep dark corner (actually the place where the lining of the bag tears) of my bag only to be taken out if the shrill non-polyphonic ringtone shrieked..those where the days when competition was limited to polyphonic ring tones and not a whole song with all SFX and definitely no video playing to indicate an incoming call..Having radio on phone was a big thing and blue tooth was thought to be a rare dental affliction..

Soon my battery began to last from two days to one to half day to one phone call to no call...Soon it got itself permanantly attached to the charger and a socket in the wall making it as mobile as a cupboard.To receive acall and to keep a conversation private involved two options-either to reply to each query including the directions to any place in monosyllables or to go and plug the charger into the socket near the waste and talk without inhibitions while gulping down mouthfuls othe odour of stale and rotting food..often without the charger the conversation would proceed to a ya,hello before the phone would gasp its last breath.The caller would remain a mystery and I would be overcome with a savage desire to break the phone into pieces.But self presevation is something 3310 is excellent in.It has bounced over a fence,fallen down two floors,been water soaked and stubbornly refused to stop working...

My relationship with 3310 came to an abrupt end when we were trying to work things out with the help of a new battery when I switched over to Sehwaag ki maa di choice..2280 has had its days but it really cant compete with phones with mp3,videos,xxx pixel camera,wi fi and hi-fi...i mean the primary purpose of 2280 remains making and receiving a call..
yes it remains hidden in the deep dark recesses of my bag till the shrill version of Mozart 40 makes me flush pink and bring it out...
But hey I can use it for self defence...and washing clothes...and it has antique value...

IIT eh? Redux

Despite another indefinite strike, threat of our course getting lagged, the VC and registrar asking for police protection this is definitely is cause for cheer.Apna Cusat will be an IIT..I mean people will actually come here after slogging for two years..the highest pay pack will be higher than 2.7 lacs..the students will have a hostel..We may actually have a good band perform here and maybe just maybe a couple of cute guys on campus..but I guess I will be too busy working for a pittance and trying to wriggle my way out of a 2years+training bond somewhere in Indore by the time all this turns into a reality..But hell I no longer will be hard pushed explaining Madras isn't a state covering entire South India and Kochi is in India and yes a state called Kerala( no not Karela)exists to all the people who ask me where I study after triumphant declaration of their alma mater being St.Stepehens/DCE/IIT(goddamn any one of them)/NIT(goddamn any one of them)..

you raise me up

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

hit rate

Like any self respecting blogger everytime I log on to the net I quickly open my blog in a window and scroll down furiously to check the site meter count.For a long time of course it remained stubbornly in the double digits.Thats when I decided to take things into my own hand,I quickly deactivated the facility which helps discount the number of times the blog owner views the page or the facility which did not count log ins from the same computer.Stage two involved repeated page views by yours truly.Stage three involved deliberately writing provocative posts instead of the usual garbage parading as humor.All this has today helped me achieve more than 600 hits!(Discounting how many times I personally view it the figure may be still in two digits,those would be viewings done by friends and relatives held at gun point)

Of course i can't hold a candle to the masters of the game who have 5 digit profile views alone.But I am learning...In this process I am trying to find the demographic profile of my readers.Most of them are concentrated around the Western Ghats near Zaina bakers as Clustermap would tell me..Why would these souls trawl through my blog?Using parts of my blog as an example of internet is the idiot or blogging is for social misfits could be one possible reason,another could be large scale betting prevalent in these areas..(tu haar gaya aaj tujhe yeh poora padhna padega...maafi,maafi...zyada shanpatti mat kar varna archives padha doonga...)what could they want from my blog?
Group number two is concentrated around Delhi..they I presume landed here by accident when they googled on 'Daler'.
The third are the solitary viewers from the North of America who hoped to find the location of the grail/second hand copies of the davinci code/divine wisdom/Dan Brown's blog..they of course left the blog as fast as their LAN allowed because my existence proved that Indians could type while riding on elephants .

A long journey awaits me where I would continue to inflict torture on the souls accidently landing on this page in the name of creativity and a mad desire to write ( in a language other than C)..each hit bolsters my misconception that a day will come when I will give Chetan Bhagat a run for his money , win Man-Booker in the process and bring about world peace.I also hope my fake modesty,pretence at being cool and smart alecky will someday finally make Brad Pitt realise his folly in going for Angelina instead of me.

And yes thank you for your patience...