action replay!

The football world cup is drawing closer and I live in mortal fear. I still remember the last one (or was it the one before?) the one France won. My dad would set the alarm for midnight and then refuse to sleep anyway. During the game time he would be oblivious to his surroundings. You would think the fortunes of Argentina (his favorite team) depended on his viewing the entire match without blinking once. I was just happy to see Batistuta run around, blonde hair flying. This time I don’t even know who the good looking..i mean talented players are. I would appreciate Rolando’s natural talents more if he had used one of his sponsorship deals to fix his buck teeth and if Zidane had got hair weaving done…

It’s the same with cricket matches. During the indo-pak series our class attendance hit an all time low. Only 13 people were present. Coincidently all of them were girls.

It’s all hype. Take any channel. The game begins with a weather report, crowd report and analysis of the previous 100 games. Then a couple of commentators would walk to the pitch and vigorously poke different parts of it and produce the verdict-dead, will aid spin (if in India) and bouncy and has juice (!!)( if in Australia). Surprise.
Finally when the match begins we first see the live action, then an instant replay and then slow motion. Then the last two from four different angles.
At the half we have highlights of the first half, followed by interviews of people on how they played in the first half and their strategy in the second half. Finally game over, we have a recap of the game followed by half an hour of score board.

Now contrast this with the times of DD.
Yashpal Sharma “ jin darshako ne tv abhi khola ho…”
Maninder Singh (pitch rising)”…aur yeh gend boundary ki aur bhaagi jaa rahi hai…aur yeh shandaar shot “

But how can Ekta Kapoor retain eye balls in the times of the World Cup. She gets Star to bring on kyunki… half an hour early and shows exciting shots from last weeks show. When action starts, camera will replay in slow motion as tears trickle down Tulsi’s cheek..and have instant replays of all marriages. Then show switches to another camera for another view Tulsi’s kanjeevaram. In the break we can have one of the characters interviewed on their behavior in the first half followed by predictions for the second. At the end of the show we will have a recap consisting of the total number of marriages, divorces, deaths, back-from-the-dead in that particular episode.
That should keep the world cup out of a few household for some time.

PS: Intellectual thieving from At Wit’s End done in this post. Please don’t sue me. I am a big fan and may have internalized quite a chunk of Bombeck’s work

What is in a name?

Although I agree I exaggerate sometimes (ok, always) to dramatise things and situations, this happened for real...
Today a classmate told me this story. Couple of days in one of the waking interludes he was reading a newspaper and his room-mate was orkutting.Somehow the roomie reached my profile and my scrap book (for people from Jupiter orkut is a kind of networking portal where you meet and can chat with other people including strangers.You leave messages in people's scrapbook)
Suddenly he goes yaar,yeh dhivya bhi gazab ki ladki hai..kya kya likhti hai..his tone implied I had fallen even below the low levels of morality expected from me..
so my classmate jumps up,flings his newspaper aside and comes to have a look at what new kaand I have created..and there it was another testimony to my loose character..I had scrapped a guy asking Are you in nitie?
It would have been probably one of my future classmates who might have sent me a friend request.The roomie had interpreted nitie,the institute name as nighty as in lingerie...and had thought i was asking some guy if he was in nighty!!
(a guy in nighty..interesting possibilities there...pink floral print..no polka dotted...)
So people I know its not as famous as some other b-schools but it is one of the best..I am actually inclined at this point of time to preferring it over MDI,Gurgaon where am waitlisted because of its better placement in the sector of my choice..
so for further info check out life at nitie and b-school rankings
And yes please it aint NIIT either..another friend asked why I was taking computer certification program after B.tech in Comp Science...
I mean I know I have susupect technical knowledge but....

tagged...

I have been tagged by my prospective senior, Ujwal Kr Vellore to write about what am planning to do before I start dancing on the nerves of people at NITIE. We shall proceed to deal with this in a systematic manner.
1. My immediate concern is to increase my wakeful hours.
2. Depending on the success of point 1 I will proceed to utilize at least half of that time in preparation of my forthcoming exams.
Together this strategy will prevent death due to heart failure on seeing the Security in computing paper on the first day of exams.
I also need to xerox the entire Distributed computing text edition 2, after I had patted my back for my ingenuity and smartness on procuring edition 3 from the library after trampling over two fellow classmates and elbowing two others when one of them noticed a solitary copy left on the library shelf and was stupid enough to whoop in joy. And then I need to study that xerox.
I also need to find material on the net for the marketing module of IOM but am too busy googling for exclusive Brangelina snaps in Namibia right now.
Somehow I know everything will fall into place and I shall again display my talent for creative writing in the exams. I will still manage to fit my entire paper in the main answering sheet itself while people around will go into double digits of extra sheets.
After that I will have my course viva for which I don’t know what exactly the procedure is. I mean I know there would be an external invigilator and couple of internal ones but I don’t know how to go about preparing for it, considering I can’t even recall the subjects’ nah subject names I studied last semester. After that agony ends I will pack my bags and will be ready to go.
I will reach home laden with dozen dust covered bags full of smelly clothes. My mother would kiss me to death with happiness on seeing me. It would vanish when she sees the piles of clothes that need washing. My neighborhood aunty will pop in and remark how Gudiya has become darker, thinner and balder than her last visit. She would advise me to put aloe Vera, egg white, honey, lime, fertilizer on my head and body warna dekho skin kitna kharab ho gaya hai aur baal kitna patla ho gaya hai. My mother would only hear the thinner part and start putting desi ghee in everything I consume. Cant blame her she grew up watching mallu movies having thunder thighed heroines and our concept of beauty differs quite a bit on the ideal weight part.
At home I will prop up my pillows, take the remote in my hand and go into a trance. Within a couple of days I would know that Ekta Kapoor’s protagonists have married again, friends season 8 is being telecast for the 198453th time, instead of desi Rakhi Sawant we now have dyed Czech models gyrating around 45 degrees Himmesh Reshammya. When am hungry I can sit in the same position and yell veshkunu on top of my lungs. It will generate immediate response the first couple of days but as days will wear on it too will get ignored. I will pout and ask dad to buy me tons of lays and ice cream and he will without fail bring in the Lays Spanish tango and Strawberry flavor brick after which I would never request him again. I will again make empty promises to meet all my friends and think up excuses not to go out in the hot sun.
By this time it would be time to pack my bags again and head to a different place. I have heard rumors that we have single occupancy rooms with attached baths there. I am used to sharing my room with 2 other human beings and 30 different species from the kingdom insectia and my bathroom with 13 other human beings and showers under the watchful eyes of couple of lizards. It would be difficult to live alone.

A place for my head

Why do i often post lyrics of songs on my blog?Because they reflect what I feel at that moment.After I have come to college and especially after getting my own PC,Real Player has become permenant fixture as is lying in physically torturous foetal position with my headphones obliterating the voices around.
Linkin Park who are depressive without being abusive are my favorite and am currently listening to three of their tracks from Meteora in a loop.

I watch how the moon sits in the sky
On a dark night shining with the light from the sun
The sun doesn't give light to the moon
Assuming the moon's going to owe it one
It makes me think of how you act to me
You do favors and then rapidly
You just turn around and start asking me about
Things you want back from me

I have developed a headache due to staring at the 14" monitor since morning.Its Sunday and we have net all day so maximum utilisation of time orkutting and ymsging.Also went through the entire archives section of Abhinav Jain's hilarious blog.

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
(Just take myself back and...)
Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
(Just take myself back and...)
Don't stay
I don’t need you anymore, don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day, of you wasting me away

I am sick and tired of having nothing to do and reading about people's blood curdling journeys on way to IIMA conversion.I mean ok you are assured of that fancy I-bank job and stretch limo but get a life,so am officially not gonna visit PagalGuy for some time till the grapes stop tasting sour.
I have read Isaac Asimov's Foundation and Empire and its a brand new imagery.Now want to read the entire series.Also saw a promo of Arthur C.Clarke's Rama revealed on the back and am literally spending sleepless nights trying to search for some site which will have it in pdf format for free.Also Erma Bombeck's At wit's end is good for laughs.Will post an 'inspired' blog soon.

I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

Good night.

i have nothing to post

My exams-the final engineering ones i hope to write are couple of weeks away, so the days are spent catching up on the sleep that will be lost in the future.10 hours may be called beauty sleep but 16 hours gives puffy eyes and makes your surroundings surreal.
Since am spending more time in the twilight zone than registering the sights and sounds around me I am not getting enough opportunities to display my foot-in-mouth afflictions and give you the reactions I generate.
The mega post I am convinced will never see the light of the day.
Btw,gave a 3 minute impromptu speech on how to prepare for CAT today.I can go on for couple of hours telling people about all the mistakes I made,but am saving that for my best-seller 98 point someone-what not to do in CAT.My publisher says I should change my main characters into BPO staffers with names like Zoom and Pogo so that readers identify with them, I am hell bent on naming them Hi-lilu-Shishindu and Roberto Clemenceau Ekstrakovic.
Since these days I have nothing to do I often look back on my 4 years here.I do not recognise the wide eyed idealist who came here,the wanna-be writer who ended up writing C programs.The girl who was awarded her school's highest honour for kindness,modesty,high moral and social values,strength of character and conviction including sportsman spirit, today just considers these to be flowery adjectives.Am I cynical?No am happier now than I was before because now I believe that nothing matters.Nothing is permanant,least of all human nature.
In my 4 years here I learnt
1.I have an incredible ability to mug up and vomit answers all the time preventing even an iota of technical knowledge to enter my brain
2.When you are happy and funny,the whole world will laugh with you.When you are unhappy you have Media player and a pillow to share it with.
3.You cannot feel another's pain and they can't feel yours either.
4.Bhaijaal and we are just close friends are better than giving the guy justice.
5.Other people know more about your mother's character than you do.They can also transform your as interesting as a caterpillar-crossing-the-road personal life into a potboiler.
6.If you are diligent enough you will learn how to make good Ppts and use MSWord by the end of 4 years of comp science.
7.Your salary is marginally better than a PSU employed chaprasi but you can pride yourself in driving our country's econonic boom by slogging for Xendu Coorp based In USA.
8.Karan Johar has never been in a relationship in his life.
Perhaps I should stop now since the post is becoming as happy as a rainbow in a clear blue sky.
Oh yes in case I forgot to mention earlier am planning to follow the course all self respecting engineers follow
1.MBA after B.Tech
2.MBA after B.Tech and MS
3.MBA after B.tech and serving one year bond
I have gone for option one and will be joining NITIE,Mumbai to complement the technical skills I have garnered in four years with the appropriate business acumen to make a successful career(my answer to the why an mba?)
Also check out the new addition to my blogroll.That's your reward for wading through mine.

(In)action!

Have not written for some time,the reason being a mix of internals,farewell,project presentation and the inherent laziness I suffer from.Then wanted to write about my engineering days in a fit of nostalgia but the post never seemed to end so you will have to wait for those words of wisdom.Also have been tagged to write about what I plan to do in the coming months before I go for my PG.And had also thought of sharing my gyaan on CAT and how not to get into IIMs.The thought of having to write so much had me immobilised into inaction.

Internals came and went.It truly 'tested' me!!
Farewell threatened to go the class trip way for a long time. But all of us,or rather most of us did end up at the buffet party.

It had our teachers telling us what it felt to teach us, folllowed by a game of truth and dare.After which the boys hit the bar and the girls the food.My plate disappeared when I went to change the music.Countless photos were taken that day.All of mine feature me and my nose which has now developed a distinct personality. Add to that am as photogenic as an orangutan and seem to have either closed my eyes in a buddha like trance in most of them or flared my nostrils in the remaining,the effects are i assure you truly spectacular.For those particularly desirous of seeing what it was all about please hop over to Rohit's flickr acount.

Finally my project demo where Murphy demonstrated himself yet again.I had preponed my demo(!!!) and sat back to enjoy the weekend.Finally on Sunday morning when I tried to run my project I got Error 403..I tinkered,googled,restarted my machine till it became Error 405.Even the brightest and the best in my class and the next threw up their hands.Finally through divine intervention and some manual too revelation dawned that the IIS properties had to be adjusted and the home directory changed.By this time the clock had struck 9 and for me rigor mortis sets in by 12 especially on the day before any exam.The PPT I proceeded to make and my total preparation for the presentation next morning was spellbinding.Monday dawned too quickly and after finally getting my 2 evaluators at the same place and the same time I presented my masterpiece.All was fine till they asked me all this is great but what have you done in this project? I would like to draw the curtains on this matter here.

On a whole my stay in Cochin is coming to a close, and though it has not come a day sooner,I know I will miss this city.If anything this is the city where I actually grew up and felt the fear one does when they discover the kind of person they truly are.But hey all that in the farewell megapost...till then..relax..

Crash course but nevertheless...

First podium finish of the season for Mclaren..yay!!

American History X

The title of this movie made me curious enough to watch it.Also been an Edward Norton fan since Primal Fear days so went ahead with it.
The first shock was to see a shaved, muscular Norton because you are used to see him in weak roles. But in this movie the beefed up Norton is a skin head or neo nazi.

The movie is about two things both irrational but dangerous-hate and racism.The movie has come under a lot of criticism for its presentation and is used by white supremist groups as propaganda. The reason maybe because the movie doesnot offer any solutions but shows the problem brutally and honestly.It doesn't end with the black and white guy holding arms walking into sunset but with a new cycle of violence which may drive the enlightened skinhead back to the beginning.

The movie is scary because it shows an intelligent guy falling for what he himself later calls bull****.It shows shows how complete the belief of the followers is in the bull****.It shows that prejudice often passes from those we love and do not wish to find faults with.

Rather than the 'curb' scene where Derek Vinyard splits open a guy's jaw by smashing his face on the pavement,I found disturbing the scenes where the black lady at counter is humiliated,the smug look of accomplishment on Vinyard's face when arrested,the wide eyed incomprehension on his girl friends face to common sense.

To think this movie lost the Oscar to something like Shakespeare in Love is incomprehensible.Perhaps because the movie doesn't give hope in a poetic Hollywood-type ending.Instead the ending is as in your face as the beginning.

Full of graphic violence and ample peppering of cuss-words in every single sentence avoid this movie if you are looking for happy endings and relaxation,otherwise you are recommended to get your DVD today!!